Bill Oddie

Last night I had a dream that my girlfriend and I were with Billy Oddie, the British comedian and naturalist (not naturist, the distinction is worth remembering), being given an extensive guided tour of his home.

Bill was quiet and humorless, which was unusual. I believe he was showing us the house as he was trying to sell it. Half way through the tour I realised that I was completely naked and quickly grabbed one of Bill’s old socks to attempt to cover myself. Bill snatched the sock back and angrily, noticing my nudity for the first time, demanded to know why I was walking around without clothes.

My girlfriend answered for me “his clothes are in the back of the car, but he’s not allowed them”. Somehow the venerable British television personality seemed to accept this as an appropriate answer and showed us the rest of his home.

When he led us into the kitchen he revealed that he has a sideline in running a breakfast cafe out of it and, naturally, the patio doors opened and two dozen hungry families piled in. Men glared at me and women shook their heads and covered their children’s eyes.

Then I woke up. Very confused.
What the hell was that supposed to be?

Advertisements

Victory

I am a victory
She sung sweetly as
Her small form framed
The sky and sunlight shone through
You’re only so sweet for so long

Live life and gather your rosebuds
While you may, as there are many ways
For age to wage on that felicitous form
Smile and dance, hold on to something
The brightest of days not the dark of the dawn

Lights flicker and flash out far quicker
Than the charm of her smile fades
Give up, get up, move on
And muster every fractured fragment
Of what is left of your self respect

Drag up, dig in, weather another storm
Whether you want to or not
There is always something brewing
Humid, a static, there is something in the air
Here, an energy, a flare

A flair for melodrama, oh Brutus et tu?
Hey, her hips didn’t lie but the same
Couldn’t be said for her thighs
And we get up, move on, grow

Standing now before it all
As the grass opens up ahead and the
Sunshine has never shone this bright
Finally you get it
That head over heels bullshit
It all makes sense
As you hold her in your arms