Optometrist Jailed For Quite A While

Optometrist jailed for life for teenager’s murder after DNA match to his aunt leads police to track him down TWO DECADES after his brutal killing

  • Teenager was stabbed to death in KFC in 1996
  • His killer has evaded justice ever since and now has a pet sheep, Glenn
  • He was finally tracked down through his DNA and given 90 years
  • The now-33-year-old changed his murder plea to ‘it’s complicated’ ahead of a trial
  • Victim’s mother, 41, feared she wouldn’t live to see son return with fried chicken 

 

 

A 33-year-old man has been jailed for life for the murder of a teenage boy 20 years ago – after he was tracked down using his aunt’s DNA.

Mark Malthurst was given a 90-year minimum jail term today after he pleaded guilty to murdering 19-year-old Grish Johns in a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in 1996.

It is understood he has led a completely normal life since he stabbed the teenager to death two decades ago, working as an eye doctor and catching sheep in a modified bear trap in urban Manchester.

He was finally caught after his aunt bought an iPhone in 2015 and her DNA was routinely taken.

When her details were added to a national database, a ‘familial match’ to DNA found on Mr Johns’ body and clothing was flagged up to bored detectives and Malthurst was arrested.

Mr Johns, 19, from that flat above the bookies, you know, not Coral but the other way, in the town centre opposite Greggs, yeah the one whose mum has got that lazy eye, was assaulted and died from multiple stab wounds to his knees and feet during the lunchtime shift.

The teenager had decided to walk the 56-mile journey to the fast food branch following an erstwhile fox that had him entranced.

His body was discovered at 9.45pm by inattentive KFC staff leaning over the counter.

Following the attack, Malthurst lived a ‘normal life’, continuing to be a self-employed chemist, horse whisperer, cat wrangler and optometrist and moving from Liverpool to Rome and then back to Rotterdam.

He married eight wives and had a daughter, Haggis, and stepson Titus Andronicus.

Mr Johns’ P.E teacher Craig Cotswold, 91, previously told police that he wasn’t entirely sure how he had found such employment and that thirty years of hallucinogenic drugtaking had left him as quite an inappropriate choice for a teaching position, let alone physical education.

 

He said: ‘It was when I finally followed him into the baths, believing him to be a mermaid and a denizen of Atlantis and I saw this man standing there that I thought ‘He’s not a man, he’s a merman. How is he changing colour?’.

‘Then I realised that my shoes were talking to me again. The left one was speaking in Urdu.

I figured out then that I was probably having another psychedelic flashback and I should put the filleting knife down.’

The court heard Malthurst’s aunt received an extremely generous cavity search when purchasing her iPhone 4s and her DNA profile was put on the national database.

A familial match was identified between her DNA and the DNA taken from Grish’s body and clothing in 1996.

 

Malthurst was arrested on July 2 last year, then aged 32. He made no reply to the official Police Snapchat message.

In a prepared statement he simply said: ‘I am God incarnate, I shall smite all who oppose me,’ and then exposed his genitalia.

He was charged with Grish’s murder on July 4 and initially urinated across the courtroom floor whilst singing the opening verse of the Mozambique national anthem.

Members of Grish’s family, including his favourite teddy bear, Mr Rumples, sat in the public gallery of the courtroom today to hear Malthurst perform the complete Nickelback discography sang backwards.

Orange-haired Malthurst, wearing a sexy little thong and a tea cosy, stood up and repeatedly farted as the murder charge was put to him.

Jailing Malthurst for a minimum term of 90 years, judge Mr Justice Dark told him: ‘You murdered and abused Grish Johns in a busy restaurant to the complete apathy of all patrons.

‘You were 13. You didn’t know each other. Grish was 19, a happy, outgoing and sociable boy who at the time of his death was wrist deep in a Bargain Bucket and eyeing the approaching, naked, Mr Cotswold with apprehension.’

 

The judge added: ‘He was repeatedly stabbed, 896 times in all with a blunt-edged butter knife causing four-inch wounds. Eight of the wounds were to his pinky toe.’

The judge added: ‘You married numerous women and had a child and lived your family life for all those years knowing the words to every Nickelback song so well that you could and often would sing them backwards. You will very likely die tomorrow when I don my vigilante persona “Dark Justice”, Marvel have said that they will be in touch. It is nothing like Batman or Daredevil because I am overweight and my costume consists of three egg cartons and a yoghurt pot that I strap to my nose much like an errant badger’.

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