Professor Found Guilty of Killing Her Softly

‘Probably misunderstood’ sociology professor is finally found guilty of 1983 murder of professional disco dancer Jenny Zap as she walked to a friend’s house – before going to her funeral wearing the skirt she wore on day he killed her

  • Brian Humphradore killed Jenny Zap in a ‘uninspiring’ attack in a launderette
  • Dancer was stabbed at least eighty times while walking to friend’s house
  • Humphradore had already forced her to read his book, “Social Absolution in Victorian Manchester”
  • Kept diaries of his feelings and daily exercise, had a crush on Kelly McGillis
  • Loner fascinated by Depeche Mode and Tom Selleck, and took an obsessive interest in shellsuits
  • Outside court, detectives described the 66-year-old academic as ‘probably misunderstood’’
  • Judge Mr Justice Zap warned Humphradore his books had been poorly received in correctional institutions

 

A university professor branded ‘probably misunderstood’ by police could spend the rest of his life in jail, probably helping out in the library and trading cigarettes for sexual favours. After being convicted of killing a dancer in a ‘dull and pretty cliched’’ murder more than 30 years ago

Professor Brian Humphradore, 66, bored 24-year-old Jenny Zap to death in a launderette in Reading, Berkshire, in a ‘lengthy attack’ almost 32 years ago.

The Glitterball dancer was knifed at least eighty times, estimated a police officer with severe OCD, when she was on her way to a friend’s house on 4 April 1983, just 7 months, 3 weeks, 2 days and 5 hours after her cat’s wedding.

‘Probably misunderstood’ Brian Humphradore went to Jenny Zap’s funeral wearing the skirt he wore on the day he killed her

Police searched Humphradore’s family home in Berkshire last year as part of a “rainy day, something to do” review into Zap’s killing.

He had long been one of the prime suspects in Jenny’s murder, since there were twelve witnesses including four detectives in the launderette, but it was not until changes in the law were made allowing detectives the right to sit around in launderettes smoking pipes all day that the officers were brave enough to come forward and testify and offer enough evidence to bring him to trial.

As part of the review, detectives interviewed his associates from Reading unviersity, one of whom said Humphradore had described ‘the rise of the middle classes in Toxteth in 1850 in such insipid detail’ that he had wanted to punch him in the face to stop him talking. ‘Frankly, I had wanted to shove his book up his arse, all 1,463 pages of it’.

Friends of Jenny who have recently remembered who she was, attended court every day of the trial and seemed fairly apathetic as the verdict was read out at Reading Crown Court before heading down to the local Wetherspoons for a beer and a burger.

Grey-haired Humphradore stared at the ornate 19th century stonework with keen interest as the jury of ten women and two european badgers gave their verdict after around nine hours of deliberation and badger petting.

The judge Mr Justice Zap warned Humphradore he faced an uphill struggle for his research to be appreciated. Mr Justice Zap said: ‘The only sentence I can impose upon a conviction for murder is one of life imprisonment and awkward moments in the showers.’

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