An Extract From My Episodic Sitcom Script

EXT. EARLY SUMMER MORNING, DAWN LIGHT- STREET
Will, Alex and Dan are staggering back down the street towards their house. Alex’s shirt is torn and bloody and he has a black eye.
DAN
I’m sorry man, I’m sorry he got you but, but you know, I’m sorry, it was instinct to duck. I’m sorry. You take a punch like a champ though.
ALEX
Don’t want to talk about it.
WILL
She totally looked at me. She saw me there didn’t she? I bet if she didn’t have to go help those two guys find something in the toilet she would’ve came and said hello.
DAN
I bet she came alright.
WILL
Huh? Alex, where is your tooth? Wow he really pounded you? Bet you’re really pissed with Dan?
ALEX
Don’t want to talk about it.

They reach the front door.

ALEX (CONT’D)
Come on, lets get in and get to bed.
DAN
Ok then.
WILL
Sure.
DAN
Well are you going to let us in man?
ALEX
What? I don’t have a key with me, you guys were already out, you have one?
DAN
I left mine, I only take the bare essentials out with me.
WILL
There’s an aftershave bottle in your breast pocket.
DAN
Yeah, I take pride in MY appearance.
WILL
Ooh, you burnt me there Careless Whisper!
DAN
Fuck you, open the door.
WILL
I don’t have a key, that’s Chester work!
ALEX
It’s fucking freezing guys, just get in.
DAN
Seriously, nobody has a key? Lets the try the back garden, we could sleep under the marquee, the picnic rug is still out.

They walk down the street and through an alley way to the back gate.

DAN (CONT’D)
Right, Will, shoulder charge the gate open.
ALEX
I bought that gate after you fucks destroyed the last one. No shoulder charges.
WILL
And why me anyway? Why don’t you do anything ‘Oooh I’m so strong, I have an athlete’s build, yeah I’m bulking on’, knock the gate down fatty!
ALEX
Nobody is knocking the gate down.
DAN
I’m not fat! I can’t knock the gate down, I might scuff my shoes.
WILL
Big whoop, they’re made of straw!
DAN
These are organically made boat shoes from the finest ship’s ropes. I rub linseed oil into them every evening and keep them in a warm, dark place over night, I am not kicking a fecking gate down with them, even though I could.
ALEX
Nobody is kicking it down!
WILL
They’re not cool, you look like a douche loser.
DAN
One of the guys fucking Sarah was wearing some, he’s not a loser. Especially not in the ‘Who Can Bang Sarah Contest’.
ALEX
The gate is open guys, I climbed over.

The three guys are shivering as they lie down under the marquee, on the picnic blanket. We focus on Dan shivering, Will shivering, Alex trembling, Dan shivering and then Will wrapped in a warm blanket.

ALEX (CONT’D)
Hang on, where did you get that blanket?!
WILL
The cupboard under the stairs, want me to get you one?
ALEX
Hang on, what?

Dan gets up and walks toward the back door, he opens it and stands there, staring at Will in disbelief.

WILL
What? You seemed really keen on the camp out. You even said to me earlier you fancied a night outdoors.
CUT TO:
WILL AND DAN, VERY DRUNK AT THE HOUSE PARTY.
DAN
Like, under the stars man, we should do that, totally, like Henry David Thoreau, do that tonight.
CUT TO:
BACK TO THE GARDEN.
DAN
Oh yeah.
ALEX
Goddamn you’re a pair of assholes. Why is it open anyway?

Chester clambers over the frame of the back gate, despite it being open, causing bewildered looks. He jogs up to them, wearing full skin tight Underarmor, it is very unflattering.

CHESTER
Oh sweet, you guys are up like you said.
ALEX
What?
CUT TO:
KITCHEN OF THE HOUSE, DAN IS PISSING IN THE SINK, WILL HAS SMASHED ONE OF HIS WINEHANDS BOTTLES, CHESTER IS SAT ON THE WORKTOP PUSHING A KNIFE IN AND OUT OF THE TOASTER.
DAN
Oh yeah, we totally need to get in shape. Gym season. Beach season. We should do a Sparta night out.
WILL
Yeah, go out as Spartans for someone’s birthday.
DAN
Haha yeah but someone we care about right? Haha.
CUT TO:
BACK TO THE GARDEN AND ALEX IS GLARING AT DAN.
DAN
Was that bit necessary? You didn’t have to flashback that!
CUT TO:
BACK TO THE KITCHEN SCENE.
CHESTER
Yeah we should all hit the gym tomorrow, hard.
DAN
Yeah and early too.
WILL
Yeah, really early.
DAN
It opens at 6am. Lets go then.
WILL
Yeah, lets get up before that though so we can sharpen up, go for a warm up run.
DAN
Yeah, 4.45!
WILL
Great idea. Can you make sure we wake up Chester?
CHESTER
You sure? That’s really early.
DAN
Yeah man, that’s the point, seize the day. Wake us up and make sure we come along, don’t take no for an answer. Use violence if you have to.
WILL
Really don’t hold back, hit us and everything.
CUT TO:
BACK TO THE GARDEN.
DAN
Oh yeah.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s