Latest Football Transfer News

Latest transfer news!!
Bale to definitely leave Spurs.
In a news conference today Carlo Ancelotti, Real Madrid head honcho, unequivocally confirmed the imminent arrival of Gareth Bale. Ahead of his side’s friendly with Levante, Ancelotti shocked journalists who had been asking like, totally unrelated questions by excitedly shouting “yes, i am completely aware of who Bale is, now can we please get back to the matter at hand”. Meanwhile David Pleat exclusively told any newspaper who would listen that “Bale should stay at Spurs, he’s too young to move”, whilst (delete where applicable) Kia Joorabchian/Dave Whelan/Alan Shearer/Jamie Redknapp/anyone else who has too much time on their hands or likes to stir the pot tweeted “Bale iz gud enuff fur Rail Madreed”.
To further compound this totally legitimate new story, reports in Spain suggest that Christian Bale (who might probably be related somewhere down the line, as he was born in Wales too) has been sighted on a beach near Barcelona. Whether he was scouting out a possible alternative for his friend/relative/whatever would be completely groundless conjecture…so we’re going to say that he definitely was, and that Christian may also now be Gareth’s agent. In recent weeks Gareth Bale has been seen visiting the Tottenham branch of restaurant chain Nando’s (which must be like Spanish or Mexican or summat), and when he spotted our cameras he held the menu up close to his face, clearly brushing up on the lingo ahead of his imminent departure.

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